okafor7's Xanga

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:57:20 GMT

Ah its been a while..

but i got a coool story!! Like i'm all smiles now as i write this lol..

So I was talkin w a dear friend of mine..and she was telling me about how God good is...like God is a good God..like REALLY really a GOOD God..and Its not like i didnt know that before..but she put it in a totally different light..and i was like..oh wow..He is actually a GOOOD God..like really goood...lol..like it kinda hit home, that God is actually reallY GOOD and he wants the BEST for us..hmm..that got me thinking..

so ya here is the story..i just got done with some of my senior research..and i was like..ok i'm tired..i'm gonna go back to my room to go lay down..but i was in the basement of the building, and to get out, i had to get to the 3rd floor..and that would entail climbing like 6 flights of stairs! and i didnt wanna do that!!

So i was like..Oh God...hmm...she said that you are soo good..so plss.. could u like send the elevator down for me? (the elevators are locked except for teachers and staff, so no student can actually use the vators..)

so i was like hmm Gooood God..pls send the elevators so I dont have to climb those stairs...and i was like hmm..this is not really a test..but it would be soo coool lol if He does it..

and i didnt wait like 20 secs..and i heard the elevator come in...i was SOOO EXCITED!! So i was thinking..oh ya God sent someone down to the basement with the elevator, so that I could hop in when the person exited the elevator...

but...

strangely, the doors opened..and NO ONE CAME OUT!! It just came down to the basement on its OWN ACCORD!!

and then..

I was soo happy...so when i went into the elevator, and started to push the button to go up to the 3rd floor...

IT HAD ALREADY BEEN PUSHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like the elevator was ALREADY GOING UP TO THE 3RD FLOOR!!!!!!!!!

I mean how cool and awesome is that???
Like when I saw that, i was just laughing and cracking up lol. God does hav a sense of humor lol. I dont know how He did it, but HE DID IT..just for me..

He really is GOOD!! All i had to do was ask..and He did it.!

And He made sure I didnt think it was an accident, cos the 3rd floor button was pushed JUST FOR ME!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH how cool is that??
I mean to you, this may be like..oh ya..big deal lol..but uhm, thats to you.. To me, these little things just tell me how cool and how Goood GOD is.. :) ah You make me smile Jesus :)

Thank you soo much. I love you muchos! XXXX

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 20:12:04 GMT

So I ripped this post of someone's xanga, but it was soo good I had to put it here. All props to her tho'

Monday, May 07, 2007

Can I get a lift?

Well, whoever said marriage was easy, wasn't married. That's really all there is to it, the boogers.

Now, I didn't say it wasn't wonderful; it is at most times. But it isn't a piece of cake, either. It's really a long road full of boobie-traps, pitfalls, potholes, and roadkill (old friends, inlaws, and bad habits...).

The thing is, I just never saw it all coming. I suppose I'm just a die-hard optimist who believes that life will turn out "ok" if I just do my best at doing the right thing, or work hard to make it "ok." Technically, it should be, right?

Maybe one takes for granted the changes that will occur in your world and life view between the happy honeymoon and the trials of real life. The things that you begin to not be willing to overlook for sheer love. The change of desire, the change of preferences. One also takes for granted the presuppositions that your spouse will have. You know, expectations?

When imagining married life--that is prior to getting married--I realize now that I had a set of ideals that I thought marriage was. Without knowing it, I fought with my husband on issues that weren't necessarily necessary, but were rather figments of my mental construct. For example, my expectation of his reaction to things I do. "If he really loves me, then he would/wouldn't act this/that way about it..." right? Wrong!

You see, when thinking of "working hard to make it 'ok,'" I had the right mentality, but failed to think that I might have the wrong idea of "ok" or that my methods of making it "ok" might not work inside the world and life view of my spouse.

The truth is--lay it on the line here--I keep screwing up. Fighting him on things and hurting us both, and after the fact, I stop to wonder, why wasn't I happy to begin with? What was he doing so wrong? Was it me? Am I nuts? (Quite possibly...)

I can't say this to him, though, because I've said it before, and my backing down on principles that I feel strongly about doesn't do either of us any good. It just makes me more bitter and him more jaded to my complaints.

I just can't figure out one thing: do I live with a difficult man or does he live with a difficult woman? I know the latter is true in many ways, and every time I see him crushed under the weight of things I said a bit too harshly, I feel like I've just torn my own heart out over stupidity. Although, he does that to me often, and I don't know that he's remorseful. But within a few days/weeks/months the temperature gradually starts to rise again, and before long something happens and we snap. We say and do things that hurt each other, things that we don't really mean, all in justified by that fleeting feeling of righteous indigence.

I know if we both felt more willingness to talk about things when they happen--little things--they'd not collect this way. But getting mad means avoidance. Avoidance means build up. Build up means pressure. Pressure means KaBoOm! When he gets mad, it's usually a case of "be quiet and leave me alone!" When I get mad, it's an all night talk 'n cry (with me doing the majority of both) that ends in one or both of us apologizing only to revisit the problem again at a later date.

Often I let the small things slide until I just can't take them anymore. I do this because I don't want to henpeck him. He comments on all the small things but prefers NOT to talk about big things. Eventually the former gets under my skin until I start chasing him around the house for one of my infamous all nighter sessions.

Anybody out there understand? (I know the answer to that.)
Better question: Anybody out there know what to do in a case such as this?

Just superficially, I find it to be an ironic extension of the age old quandary the one and the many. Human beings naturally independent and selfish, tend toward the one--while the reality is often the needs of the many, the group. Then again, human beings question the existence of God--the one--over humanity--the many. Even further, the idea of one God vs. the Trinity, I suppose being the one way in which the dilemma is resolved.

Anyway, marriage is definitely that: a constant struggle to see both the needs of yourself, your own survival and happiness, and those of the marriage of two over all, which at times can seem fundamentally different.

Maybe it's ok to admit I just don't know. Perhaps that's really where I have to start on this whole thing, by admitting that I don't have the answers and can't make things "ok" on my own.

Maybe I'll go ask my husband what he thinks.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:42:05 GMT

So the coolest thing ever...I'm taking this histology class, and today we had to get a mouse n a rat n put them to sleep so as to collect their tissues.

We put them to sleep with chloroform...and the cool thing was that..when we were infusing them with formaldehyde, the limbs and tail of the rat started TWITCHING like it was alive!!
I mean you could see that this rat was stone dead, but after formaldehyde, you should have seen it twitching like crazy!
I thought that was soo cool...they say it was the interactions of the formaldehyde with the actin/myosin cross binding or something...i wont get into that now lol.

but ya just had to write that out. Cool beans.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 22:59:02 GMT

i'm like totally distraught. You know how it feels when you want something soo bad.. and u think u have it... then u suddenly realise that you've been in delusion the entire time?

Yea thats exactly how i feel rite now. Men life sucks so bad rite now.

At this very second I hate my life.

And no i'm not suicidal so dont be freaking out.

I just hate my life at this very second.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Mon, 28 May 2007 02:16:44 GMT

So its weird cos not a day goes by that I dont think of you. Not a single day. As Michael Buble sings it, 'You're in my every minute...' ..literarily.
Btw, Michael Buble (click on link) is one of the best singers ever. If you ever get a hold of his new Cd Call Me Irresponsible..u'll know why. Listen to 'Wonderful tonight', 'Lost', 'Everything', 'Always on my mind', and 'Me and Mrs. Jones'. The last two are by far my fav. Gotta love that kid.. sooo good.... hmmmm...

Monday, April 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 14:30:32 GMT

Wow.. so i went to church on sunday, and my! the word was awesome..

He talked about the 10 virgins w the lamps.. pretty 'generic' story.. but it came to me in a new light on sunday..

they all knew about the coming of Christ and all kind of got ready

Yea they had their lamps and oil and stuff.. but still not all of them got in see the bridegroom.. not all of them got to heaven

Now the question is why? I mean they were all christains, all aware of the 2nd coming of Christ.. and all got ready to an extent. But yet, the foolish five didnt have enough oil. didnt have enough anointing.

They probably went to church, prayed and did all the generic xtain stuff, BUT they were not ready for His second coming. They didnt have enough oil.

Wow when i heard that it was like a wake up call. i mean we are all christains and live good live and go to church and do all that stuff.. but is that guarantee enough that we are going to make it to heaven??? Is it??

Seems like we need EXTRA OIL. I need to ask God for EXTRA oil, extra anointing to make it thru. I have to be prepared for the long journey.

Everyday, i must ask God for more anointing.. i cnat do it on my own.

Its scary to think that being a nominal christain may make one to miss heaven ".. if you are lukewarm.. i will spew you out of my mouth..."

Anyways, onto lighter things. I am writing this note in my immuno class, and my professor is looking at me funny, i think she suspects that i am not really taking notes off her powerpoint, but right now i really dont care bcos i am gettin really really tired of the class... ya... But hopefully she doesnt catch me. I do have a backup tho lol

And btw, did i mention that i had the MOST amazing date to the APA banquet on friday. The Most Amazing date ever... i have a lot to learn tho about being a gentleman.. thank God she was soo accomodating. she's the best!

Charity Joy Buchanan! You rock!! :)

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:48:21 GMT

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 05:36:30 GMT

Ok, this was just good..

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 02:37:08 GMT

Ok, i've been having this slight dilemma, and I want to know your opinion..

Is it wrong to be 'lazy'? By lazy, i mean, putting in the minimum effort to attain max, or just below maximum achievement? Cos thats how i've been feeling of late about lots of my classes. I feel like i've been stressing out about them waaaay too much, so its time just to chill. So what I do now, I just take things eaaaasy...mayb waay too easy, and just do exactly what is required (or less) for my work, just to make sure that it is done.

I wake up, RIGHT in time for class, no time to come early, i'd rather be sleepng cos i get soo tired.

I study JUST enough for the exam, no need stressin out over too much stuff.

I guess its bcos i got discouraged after doing soo much work and not seeing the 'benefits' of it. I remember, freshman year, i used to read 'above and beyond' what was expected, and the exams questions became too easy, i got mad that i over worked for it.

So tell me, am i being lazy? Or just being wise? Because wisdom also entails being able to manage your time effectively.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 04:51:32 GMT

So today, i went on a BIKE ride. Not like a bicycle but a MOTOR BIKE. It was my buddy Andreas' bike. We went to watch a movie.. 'One night with the King'..a story about Queen Esther and the Jews and all that...It was pretty interesting, it was kinda funny to see Esther 'making out' with King Xartexessssss, but it was an overall good movie.

So about the Bike ride..it was...interesting.. It isnt as scary as pple say it is..it is actually kinda sweet..you feel like you're sitting on sooo much power and energy beneath you..its kinda sweet. Loved it.

But I probably wldnt do it again. Why? Cos I have a future. I have a wife to marry, kids to have, places to go. So yea, biking is fun, but it really is not safe. Its fun tho'..

Aii, thats my 'lil note. Hows you been?